Return of Honor

                                   

I just love our Rocky Mountains...we are not native to this beautiful country, but claim such joy in living here.   

Just two days ago though, as we drove past a creek surrounded by thick foilage of trees, it reminded me our our Myakka City (which in reality is not a city at all, but a small country town) in Florida and I felt a twinge of...(fill in the blank. ;)) 

For me, the key to joyfilled mothering has always been connected with how my morning starts out. The rising with God's chirpy winged creatures, witnessing the burst of a sunrise, and relishing the quiet Presence of my Jesus. His faithfulness as my Kingly Papa to lay out a princess wardrobe for me, consisting of everything I would need that day. The royal clothing (in its finest of quality) of peace, joy, and a longing for more of my Jesus, has graced my life in the early morning and it has spilt over into my day as bubbling as a mountain brook. 

As an outflow of that, our homes become a sanctuary, a haven from earthly storms. Our marriages thrive and our children are secure in this nurturing sweetness. They grow up confident of who they are, in Christ. And they stand tall, anchored in something much more noble than any of their own self could muster. 

In our homes that Christ builds, little girls bask in the sweetness of giggles, and nurture those around them, creating and spilling beauty everywhere about them. Our little girl loves to pick any little flowers she finds growing outside, and she skips about the house finding her little green vase and filling it with water and her treasured flowers. She loves to seek out our "extra" decor that is tucked away for future use, and she decorates the house. We fondly say that our little Alaythia is a rose among strong oaks  (her brothers ;) ). She has a softening effect with her little girlishness, frills, and love for pink. A fascinating daintiness that God designed in His female creations. 

Our boys grow up into young men who will stand true and loyal to something. And that "something" is a clincher right there. That "something" can be sin and selfishness when they become adults, or in our home that God builds, they can be taught to protect others and defend Truth. 

When young men stand for Truth there will be those that will call them cowards. But really they are head and shoulders above those that would scoff. Why? Because they are willing to stand honorably, to spend their strength and their lives for others. The honor and integrity they live by is internally as important as nutrition and exercise is to their physical bodies.  

Oh for honor to be brought back where young ladies use their God given purpose to nurture their families, to create beauty and to add strength to their homes. 

For young men to again be protectors of their loved ones and defenders of Truth, instead of the sin we see running rampant where the only thing they seem to be protecting and defending are their own private sinful indulgences. " He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy." Proverbs 28:13 Sometimes I think we've reduced satan that he's nothing more than a stuffed toy puppy that let's out an occasional bark. Instead of the controlling tyrant that he is if we let him in and think we can cuddle him.

Probably most of us long for the return of Honor instead of the lousy counterfeit we seem to embrace as the new normal. The tragic thing is, even in my generation, it isn't a new normal, it is the only normal we've mostly ever known! I actually feel a sweetness and sadness when I see an older couple. There is such wisdom and strong Truth-filled values that they have lived their whole life by, and I feel such a sense of loss to loose that generation. Unless we carry truth high shedding light on what is for real "the real" we will not produce anything of strength for anymore generations. 

Our girls will not be princesses and our boys princes. Any beauty and nobility that those two titles hold will be lost!! 

They only thing, the absolutely only thing that gives hope is that the Bible is the living and breathing voice of God, never growing old. "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."(John 1:14).  He is our only hope and with the Truth-filled proclamation of that and letting that govern all our decisions, we can have the return of our princesses and princes! The grand mixture of beauty and honor!!

          "Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him." Proverbs 30:5

I am choosing today to keep my trust anchored in Jesus!!

*Just a reminder of our adoption and especially for those that have been following it and looking for an update. ;) Our paperwork will soon be on it's way to translation and South America. The kiddos and us still get the priviledge to Skype regularly. That is such a huge blessing!! We are expectant of things progressing rather quickly once the paperwork reaches it's Country and is approved. We still desire your prayer partnership with us in these remaining stages and as we raise the rest of the needed funds. Also most importantly, please keep the kiddos in prayer. If you desire to join with us, we are praying as a family for healing to be taking place right now in their precious lives, right where they are. And for a smooth transition. Thank you!! 

PhD in Mommyhood

                                   

The rich coral glow across the landscape, the cheery, chirpy music of God's sweet little winged creatures. And the magnificent Rockies towering strong and handsome, making the perfect backdrop to all our outdoor fun, or those cozy family times in our family room looking through all these picture windows!  ;)

Every time my soul feels like it's so filled with happiness that it will burst, The Holy Spirit reminds me that it's truly the abundant life of Christ within! Then admidst all these "happy" feelings, I rememeber that the definition of happiness is something that is based on happenings and that through the years and even now there are times when the current "happenings" aren't  inclined to bring "happiness", but I still felt this "burst" and it's called "joy". 

When I contemplate whether what I feel is happiness or joy,  I realize, that what I'm feeling doesn't necessarily have anything to do with my natural circumstances, but rather everything to do with the realization of a Great, Big, Papa God who truly loves me and my little family sooo much!!!

This morning, I am really thankful and anticipating that it's a brandnew day, and God has given me every provision to be the best mommy ever in the lives of our sweet kiddos!! I can be 100% intentional as I interact with them, as I truly take the time to listen to them, as I fully absorb and allow it to be forever stamped on my memory~their smiles and giggles, their laughter and full of life moments!! 

Mommyhood is a beautiful time and so far every season has had it's unique memorable memories. We anticipate our tomorrow's with our kids and they are truly a real joy to share life with!! It's a delight for us mommies to create an atmosphere in our home of neatness, coziness, and attractive order~an outflow of an uncluttered heart. My desire is to keep my heart pure, lovely, unselfish, and in return, I can love my little family unselfishly and fully. 

To me, the importance in life is not CEO status or the next degree attained, it's winning the hearts and trust of the precious kiddos that God has entrusted to us! It's teaching them through simplicity to treasure life and live to their full God-given potential. 

That whatever their hands find to do, to do it with all their might and that to do everything as unto their Lord. Talk about success, when all is done as unto Christ and not limited by some human standard in excellence, they will truly excell. And what is important to Christ will become important to them as well!! 

Isn't this exciting?! And we find that Christ is behind it all, equipping, empowering, (and if you really want to look at it through an earthly kind of way~Christ is handing out the degrees~PhD (Parenting  His Design)! ;)

My life occupation is important to me. I don't have an earthly supervisor standing by ready to promote me to the next office. But I have 5 trusting children who long to always know they are loved and valued by me. They need me to encourage them in their full potential, to gently press them toward an academic challenge, to remain trusting as they test their limit of understanding and ability, and to assure them that God has called them each to His own special gifting and then to invest prayer into their lives, encouragement and provide the education for them to fulfill whatever occupation and gifting God is building them for!

I don't take this lightly.. Motherhood is a beautiful and important calling and I look trustingly to my Kingly Father, to actually do the work, but when I stop and ponder it, He chooses to use us, as parents, to carry out what in reality He is really doing. And we taste fully the joy and involvement of child raising with all it's importance, delights, and challenges. And when our children look at us with giggles and love, and eyes filled with trust, I know I have been handed this "gift" the "honors" even though it really was all because of Christ!!

Because we are in Christ, we share of the fruit that He produces in our children, we share in their abundant life found only in Him. And I truly cannot think of anything more beautiful then this!!

Even in the challenging moments, that have a way of nudging us parents into our prayer closet, we taste of the fullness of Christ and His wisdom.

                  We are reminded in this Easter season that He already IS the Conqueror!! 

     God bless you, fill you with His wisdom, and His outpouring of delight in your mommyhood!!

God also bless you as you celebrate this Easter and spend the day delighting in your family and in Him!! I am excited as I have a special Easter surprise in the planning for our kiddos for Sunday!! ;)

Also today we get to Skype with our sweet South American kiddos too!! It is an honor to love them. And we are excited to celebrate Easter with them today!!   

  

    If you desire to partner with us in our adoption of M and M, there is a donation button on the top right of this page that will go directly to, "Bringing M and M Home!!" God bless you and we say, "Thank you" from all of us!!

  

For These Children We Prayed

(This blog was actually written in the Colorado summer of 2014. ) 

Yesterday we experienced one of those days that will forever be etched in our place called, " Fond Memories". We celebrated our South American sweet princess' birthday! Her radiant love for the Lord is evident in her life and we stand back in awe and amazement of the work God is doing in our sweet South American kiddos lives!! We see the Hand of God moving ahead and preparing these kids future with Him. And dare we, in faith, also say, that God is preparing them for our family. At first we were uncertain of an older child adoption and we wanted to back away from it...you know, that situation in life that you feel it would be better all around if you could just not know it existed? Well that is how it began for us...  

First God called us to adopt...we felt the calling. It was fine. I honestly figured that Mike and I would be grey and wise and our biological kids would all be at least youth age. Maybe that's why Mike is already showing a lot of grey hair! ;) But the older and wiser and all our kids in their youth age..well God's plan is different than what we planned. 

A few years later, Mike was like, "Why wait till we raise our kids? Why not adopt now and raise them with our kids?" That idea took some getting used to...and as the years passed, our hearts grew bigger..and I guess looking back we did grow older and a bit wiser! (All to the glory of God!)

I think the earliest written recording we have of our call to adopt is in 2005. As some years crawled along and others sped by, we began to pray literally for these kid(s) that were ours. We had no idea who they were and how to find them. No real idea where to start. And absolutely no $30,000 to pay for them. 

The urgency to adopt began to deepen with the years but our pocketbook didn't..and finally our reason to not pursue adoption right now, was not valid in our God's eyes. He knew what we didn't, that all He needed was our "yes" and He would faithfully do the rest.

I love how God moves us along kind of at levels. Once He started the wheels of us becoming an adoptable family we found ourself immediately presented with the who and where! And as often the case, we were tested in even this....the age was an 8 yr old little girl from America. I happened to recieve the call from the agency and after the gentleman explained this little girl to me and her story, I knew in my heart we could never say yes. 

Or could we?????

I have to laugh a little as I write this because God takes the "Or could we" moments and builds from there! We knew we must pray instead of coming out and refusing....so we prayed...we each had our separate request that God fulfill so we'd know...BUT God isn't bound to our request and He gave us peace in that. After sometime, and even tho' we did not feel equipped in ourselves, we knew God was, so we began the steps toward making this little angel of a girl our daughter. 

 

We were one of several families that stepped forward.  It was a dissolved adoption case and God laid it on Mike's heart to pray for reconciliation for this child and her adopted family that was giving her up. After questioning the agency about the chance of that, Mike was told that pretty well everyone involved felt that the adoption being dissolved was for the best...

After waiting for the child's family to choose one of several families' profiles we got word that this child's family decided to take her back and work toward reconciliation. Our faith was increased!!! So even tho' we felt a heart attachment to a little girl we never met, we knew to trust God in all of this.. And God so lovingly used this child to teach and stretch us a lot! Also stretching us toward older child adoption.

So now what? We then expressed our desire to adopt internationally and this agency only has the one Country in South America. So our "where" was easily enough decided!! We jumped on an international orphan host program just in time for the due date and prepared for a child to stay with us. It was encouraged that we could become familiar with the Culture and Country we would be adopting from. 

We asked for the youngest little girl possible, but we stood firm in our resolve that we would not put God in a box. So if it was a boy or a bit older of a child we gave room for that. We prayed that God would orchestrate things so that the child we hosted could be the same one we would adopt...

The agency tried to get us a younger child but it wasn't going to be easy.. We were told that a little child could be adopted if their older brother or sister were being adopted also...okay, we are willing to host two kids, but the absolute youngest possible..oh my, that just gave God ALOT of room to work!!! ;)

As it held out, we would be hosting two much older than what we first expected children.... One option was; one little girl, and the other option was one little girl ( the same age as the other ) and also her older brother.

We found ourselves with several more "Or could we??!" situations and true enough God built on them. As long as we don't say a resounding no and shutting the door on our Lord ( and even then He's quite capable of carrying out His will!!) He takes our insecurities and and we find rest in Him, He takes our weakness and empowers us. He takes our willingness and creates something oh so lovely and beautiful because it has His handprints all over it and not ours!!

So yes, the same two previous kids that we hosted over Christmas, the same two that were by far much older than we ever originally set out for, is the same two adorable ones that we are pursuing adoption of~and we are excited!!! 

How could we adopt two much older ones, you might be asking... Remember back....way, way back......we'd been praying for our child(ren) and these we believe our the ones we've prayed for....and they were much much younger than...we just dudn't know yet who they were..seriously, our life has had a serious amount of testing through the years. We believe it was teaching us, preparing us, to walk this road in complete trust and faith without wavering in a big Almighty God! Our God!!! 

                        

(This blog was written in the summer of this year- 2014.. We are currently continuing in the journey to bring these kiddos home..we would love your prayer support. Also if you feel led to give, there is a donate button on this page and we thank you and bless you in advance for your gift of any amount. God is continuing His awesome work in the lives of these kiddos and in our life as we work toward bringing them home. Great is His faithfulness!!)

                          

Every Day Living in the Glow of Our Happily Ever After

A few months ago, we celebrated our 18 years of marriage!! Eighteen years on our way to forever together. ;) Topics and advice on a great marriage are plentiful today and as we heard of the different "marriage boosters" down through the years, we've had to share smiles at the humour we found in some of them! 

One particular one was that to add spice to your marriage and to keep it growing, a marriage author suggested that you buy a new sheet set once a week or month! I was thinking that after awhile even Mike wouldn't know which one is the "new" one with the collection of sheet sets that would be around our house!! ;)

The topic of marriage is of great importance. Selfishness between two adults is so often clearly evident.   

The brokenness in families is so sad. I especially am touched with sadness when I hear of another separation or divorce. It truly is the children that get the raw part of the deal. They become subjected to now two moms and two dads, all because their real mommy and daddy tried to escape the pain of healing, of forgiveness and the pain of saying no to their own selfishness.

But one cannot truly escape pain or consequences to their desicions...so now the parents still walk thro' pain and take the children thro' the pain with them.

I know a couple who became the best of friends and truly their hearts were touched beautifully by the other. After close to 2 years of being in a sweet relationship, they married. As they embarked with all their dreams that would carry them to forever together, it was altogether lovely till...

That's the clincher right there...that moment we find ourself in a place we really wasn't prepared for...probably most of us haven't truly been nurtured in the Word of God and first really and truly given our whole self to Jesus completely before we began on the journey of marriage. When we present Jesus with the throne of our heart and ask Him to reside there, we actually live outside of ourself and that has a beautiful way of creating room to love others as He loves them. It creates within us the beautiful spirit of giving, serving, nurturing and that is divine marriage material to build a lovely home!!

Contrary, if Christ is not central in our life, who is? Sadly, we are. And that my friend, is in large, the answer for the crumbling marriages..selfishness is holding ourself close and it offers no room to truly hold another close. Yes, for seemingly a season perhaps, but it's not rock to build upon..the sand castle we've built for ourselves eventually dissolves when the rains come and ultimately we begin to nurture #1 ( ourself) and we demand our happiness to be met and we find our marriages falling apart.

 

This couple, I am writing of is Mike and I. It was only after letting Jesus take the central position in our lives and home that our love began to flourish, and this fairytale dreamer that I always was, truly began to see the golden sweetness of everyday living a happily ever after.

I truly believe most marriages can heal.. But we've heard the lie for so long that it isn't possible and we find ourselves believing that over the Voice of Truth. If we had not walked the painful and confusing path of our marriage falling apart, and our dreams with it, I would have no idea what some are walking through. And I realize every story is different, with different degrees of pain, but I still believe that one of the Names of Christ is "Healer" and He is able to turn around what we can't and take what satan meant for evil in our lives and create something oh so lovely with it!!!

Mike and I are excited to be enjoying life together and when the bumps come, we trust God to guide us through them, and He is faithful!!! And life is truly filled with joy and beauty. Don't let satan convince you that you will only be happy looking out for yourself. Trust me, when two people are looking out for the other, nurturing and protecting the other, the effect is astounding in its beauty and preciousness!!! ;)

It is as crisp and fresh as the mornings dew..it is as exhilerating as those moments when we find ourselves surrounded by nature as we breath in its refreshing and soul thrilling beauty!! The security and faithfulness reminds me of a strong oak tree...able to stand tall, strong and glorious in the sunshine and in the storms!!! This is real and it is ours to enjoy in Christ!!

                    

                                      Everything Christ touches is altogether lovely!!!

         

                         "I loved you yesterday, I love you still. I always have and I always will."

And I believe deep down in most of us the love for our husband/wife never really died. It was smothered underneath a whole lot of lies, for a season...

And if we allow Christ the central place in both of our hearts we truly experience a tiny sweet piece of Heaven right here on earth!! :)

To read a bit more about God working His wonders in our marriage you may want to read the post titled, "Rekindled Love". 

I Believe!!

I was reminded and freshly inspired while reading in Luke chapter 5:4-7. At Jesus beckoning to Simon, to launch the fishing boat out to sea and to cast the nets, I found Simon's response interesting. He was full of respect, as he said, "Master, we have toiled all the night,and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net. " 

What Simon couldn't even begin to imagine, was truly already accomplished in Jesus. Before his astonishing eyes, the nets became so full that they needed the assistance from another fishing boat! 

I just found this whole account amazing indeed!! There have truly been times in my life where God beckoned me further into the great deep.. Even promising me through Scripture and worship the blessing that awaits. I have seriously on occasion said, "Okay, Lord, this is what the world around me is saying...but this is what You are saying.." 

Finding myself at this spiritual crossroads and the need to choose. It was impossible to stay standing in that one spot, cause had I not chosen, my silence would have proved my choice. There is no middle ground to stand on.   

And sadly, sometimes in trying to convince our loved ones and friends around us only bring the sad realization that we are humanly in this one alone. Even saying, "This is what the Word of God says and I choose to believe it" has brought condemnation from even so called Christians as they have responded, "That is a very scary place to be". 

I have sometimes seriously doubted my own ears and hearing... Playing the conversation over and over in my mind, I've had to think that surely they didn't just say that!!

The difference is in believing what we literally can't see, because it really doesn't matter, cause our heart is so full of trust to our loving Saviour. When times have made it difficult to believe something that I knew to be true based solely upon Scripture, I have had to ask myself, how if I don't believe "this" how can I believe anything at all? How can I believe in salvation or even heaven then? 

About 1 1/2 years or more ago, God took my faith to a much larger degree.. I wanted to believe all of Scripture with my whole heart, but being sensitive in my nature, there were just certain things that kept me from shouting freely, "I believe!!" So I tiptoed around those verses. I desperately wanted freedom in my spirit in even those verses, but I just couldn't get past the oblivious of what I "could" see to the seemingly impossible promise that scripture was saying.

After being spiritually boosted and stretched at a weekend conference, and after crying all weekend at the preciousness, I returned home. I had heard and seen so much that contradicted every lying argument that had secretly taken root somewhere along the way in my heart.

I began right away to allow the Holy Spirit to combat every temptation of satan to get me to doubt, by saying out loud in reference to my God and scripture, "I believe". And I would not let my sensitive nature wash me in doubt as to whether or not I was lying because in reality, I didn't have anymore to go on than before other than what scripture says even though the world seemed to prove otherwise.

I stood confidently in my position in Christ and kept confirming to myself, "It doesn't matter if I really think it could be true or not ( by what my eyes see or my experience tells me)  scripture says it and I believe scripture so I know it's true." Before I even realized what was happening, my spiritual boat was filled to overflowing with fishes! I tasted such freedom in Christ. I drove to a private country road and stood in the road with only God, myself, and the cattle for my witnesses  as I shouted, " I believe!!"

That belief in Christ has made some difficult decisions in my life conquerable in Him!! It hasn't made others understand me any better, but it really doesn't matter, because what I am living in everyday, the joy, the life giving exuberance, I wouldn't trade! 

When we live our lives completely surrendered to God, is only then, when we taste of the most beautiful life. It's not bondage as some think, it's freedom! We are free to live, literally dance!, the biggest smiles threaten to cover our whole face! It radiates and pours from us from every fiber. Our intimacy and friendship with our spouse, our relationships in child raising, our visiting with the cashier at the grocery store, our attitude just because someone pulled out in front of us or took our parking spot, ;) all changes! Because what we live in every single day has nothing to do with the external and yet everything in the external is affected! Amazing, isn't it?! ;) ;)

Then I look at what the world calls freedom...and I shake my head and am bewildered that they could possibly think for a moment that I'd trade what I call freedom for theirs. 

Just last night I kissed my sweetheart goodbye and blessed him again that he's such a good man...remembering that not all men are good men. The cheating "while their away" on their spouses.. Freedom?? Not the kind I ever want Mike and I to experience. 

When he puts his arms around me and I know in my heart that I am the only one, my most intimate heart of hearts is bonded with his securely for life. 

And as much as I would stand and testify from the top of the highest mountain that what I taste is freedom~it can only be convinced in a person's soul as they first surrender to the God of this freedom..    Only then He opens up His treasure chest full of the rarest of riches!! :):) 

And they all truly becomes ours, in Him!! 

"I (Jesus) am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. "

 I believe!!!!

                            

For more on this subject feel free to check out the post titled, "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength". I am a bit more specific on how fear cripples. But you won't be left hanging there. Jesus has a full measure of life and beauty in Him to offer!!

Tasting More than Joy in Our Mommyhood ;)

The softly padded footsteps as one of my little ones make their way across the living room to me with a sleepy smile on their face. My heart is exuberantly quiet. ( Is that possible?! ;) whatever this emotion is called, I feel it. ) As I hold them close in the warmth of my arms, kiss the top of their silken hair, taking in the beautiful scent of their shampoo, I am overflowing with the whole beautiful role of mommyhood. 

Raising children and fulfilling my title as mommy is more than getting creative with meals and snack ideas, more than keeping our house cozy, clean, and inviting. More than kissing and patching up owies. Way more than pressing uniforms and Sunday shirts, making sure teeth are brushed and keeping intentional in their education. 

It is in actuality raising souls that will continue choosing Jesus Christ or one day to reject Him. If I look to my resources to conquer this serious task before me,  I find myself quaking from within. It is in those moments that my loving Heavenly and Kingly Papa assures me that He will carry out His beautiful and altogether lovely masterpiece in our life.

All He ask of me is my complete givenness and undivided loyalty and trust in His ability. To allow the beautiful pruning of growth in my own life. Somehow, as I yield myself in obedience to Him, a selfless spirit of caring for and nurturing my little family flows naturally from me! 

Is that beautiful or what?! Yes, it is very beautiful indeed!! As I live my life for my Kingly Papa, I also taste of exclusive wonders that graces the life of a princess daughter! It is actually having His royalty surround us, and we find that no matter if it's tidying the house or hiking the magnificent Rockies, we are basking in exuberant joy!! 

This freedom and fulfilling life, in Christ, I would not exchange. With all this, I hasten to add, that because my flesh would naturally stray it's own way, I have found the Great Shepherd's hook, about me more than once, gently guiding me to where the pastures truly are lush, but in my single inward focus, somewhere else looked a bit lusher. What I failed also to see were the bramble bushes that I found myself tangled in. As my Sweet and caring Shepherd gently untangled the mess I found myself in, it hurt to have the thorns and brambles removed and in His gentle ministrations, I mistook the pain that my wanderings brought and as He painstakingly set me free, I associated the pain with Him at times. 

My wonderings brought consequences and He risked setting me free, but knowing at the same time, that freeing me from the bramble bush also brings pain and there is no way around it. You know, (smile) as ironic as it may seem, those times that has been the very things that drew me to my Saviour's sheltering embrace are the times in life I've thanked Him for the most.

It is not freedom to me, to wander from Him, it is discouragement, disappointment and if I get any pleasure from it whatsoever, it has been fleeting, unsatisfactory, and temporary. 

Whereas my life is filled to overflowing as I bask in His love, makes all of life peaceful, restful and joyfilled. Even the call for down moments where in myself, I would feel unsure, I find myself more and more naturally turning to see if this paprticular situation has taken my Kingly Papa by surprise and every time, without fail, I see His completely unruffled confidence and smile, and I rest in Him and find the peace that passeth all understanding as Scripture promises.  

With every good thing, there comes testing to build strength. There is just no way around it. If I want a healthly body, I have to eat right, exercise. If I want to build muscle or tone, I have to make the required effort. And if I want my life to be the real deal, as pure as silver or gold, I have to allow for the heat and fire moments in life to melt me down enough so that the impurities can be filtered out. The more our lives experience this, it has a astoundingly rippling effect in our life that can't be pursued any other way. Our marriages, our families, our relationships prosper. 

When we are free to love selflessly, we experience love in return and as our arms are emptied of ourself we can love and hold others close. It's beautiful! When I nurture only myself, I am filled up in a different way, and I have almost no compacity to reach outward and in the end, I am an unhappy self-riddled person. Jesus created us to love outward, to live outward, and then is when our life becomes full and overflowing with all the good stuff!! 

A mommy's life is definitely full, but all the living, giving, sacrificing and what could seem like "missing out" times is small in comparison to the fulfilling of Proverds 31:31

31 "Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates."

And even now, God lets us catch glimpse of what these are...the little arms wrapped tight around our necks, the wet kisses and I "wuv" you from our littles, the confidence and trust the children place in us, the times the kiddos insist on sharing their sweet treat with us..(just last night little Branson wanted me to take turns with him in sharing nibbles from his sweet treat leftover from his valentine's goodies. My mommy heart wanted him to enjoy it, but the truth of the matter is, his enjoyment came as he said in his baby voice, "you turn" and I'd take a tiny little nibble and then he'd take his turn. ) ;) Or all the years we invest in teaching our boys to grow into gentlemen who are caring and preferring to the ladies around them and than I have to allow them to take the lower place in their desire to serve me. That is and has been hard for me sometimes! They are still my littles ( even tho' Michael is much taller than me and Cameron isn't far behind! ;) ) I have to allow them to exercise their integrity-filled manhood in giving me the last piece or sometimes slightly bigger piece of dessert~all because they want to! To give me their chair if one of us must stand. It's the years of toilsome effort and then we taste of our "works praising us" through our children who are choosing to also live outward. The caring and giving and loving one another is the most beautiful artwork of a Master Creator's Hand. 

And I quietly realize that my Kingly Papa smiles upon me as I taste beautifully and am credited by my children as "the fruit of my sacrifice in their lives"  when it was really my Papa behind it...just as He promised. ;) And somehow, I ponder in the quietness, if I didn't see my Kingly Papa also add a joyfilled wink with His smile. ;) 

                                 

Just a reminder of our adoption! Our sweet M and M made us very lovely valentine cards. :)  What a joy to bond with these precious kiddos!! We trust our Kingly Papa to do what we never could in bringing these kiddos home! If He has laid it on your heart to bless this adoption, you will find a donate button at the top right of this blog. Feel free to leave us a note of encouragement and/or prayer! We look forward to hearing from you!! 

A Heart's Longing to Belong

Last night as I was reading adoption stories on youtube, specific to the Country where M and M are, and listening to different songs, and as I gazed on the faces of kids who truly long for a family,

I realized that I do not know what that emotion is... I allowed my mind to drift and picture what an abandoned child perhaps thinks and feels... To somehow try to grasp the deeply till it hurts desire for their own family. That restless longing to belong... 

One of the "longing till it hurts" experiences our family walked through was some years back... Forced, due to a downhill economy, to sell our lovely little house on the prairie. The home we not only had built, but we also helped to do it. We labored with our own hands, sweat, and time into this charming starter home. It graced 6 acres of open ranch land. We had our own pond and lots and lots of outdoor garden and play room space for what would later be our growing family. We built within our means, not fancy, but modern and beautiful. 

Being the simple house that it was, we received many compliments..people were always surprised at the spacious living /kitchen area when they stepped inside..delighting in being a homemaker I loved decorating and keeping it cozy and country feeling.

We called this lovely rancher "home" for over 9 years.. It is at that house Cameron changed the "Home Sweet Home" all familiar motto with, "Sweet Home Sweet Home". ;) Our family realished home more than anywhere else! Michael was 2 1/2 when we moved in and as the years slipped by we filled our little sweet house with 4 more cuddlable kiddos. :) 

I walked thro the years of healing over my mamas death in that house, and many many years later, I grieved my daddy's soon to be and passing. It was that house where first I saw my Mike literally make the choice in his life that he will step up to the spiritual plate with God's strength and without flinching, flexed his integral muscles that he would hit a home run. Not because he had the ability in and of himself to do so, but because he chose to place his trust in the One who did.

Our life became more and more beautiful with the passing of time, our love deepened, our commitment to Christ strengthened.

Then about 1 to 1 1/2 weeks after burying my sweet daddy, who went to see His Saviour,  we drove away from our little house for the last time, to a temporary vacation home. I was carrying within my womb, with all his preciousness, our fifth child. 

Mike's prayer as we drove away from our little house on the Florida praire will forever be a testimony to me of God's great faithfulness, "Thank you for the nine years You gave us to enjoy and now someone else can. Help us know that all is still good in Your eyes." 

We had a six month commitment from the vacation rental owner, and then we would have to vacate the house due to regular yearly winter guest. That would take us to November.

Meanwhile, it was past saving our house, and we knew of an empty house on the very same road. It sat empty for at least 3 years. Before we moved from our house, we would take our gulf cart and go in the lane to the house and hope, dream, and pray. We looked in every window that we could! ;)

And Mike would think, "Who are we kidding?!" It would be our dream house.

Mike inquired about the house and we found out that it was listed on the market again and it was a foreclosure. We continued to pray, we fasted, having absolutely no idea of the even possible reality.

One night at about midnight, Mike was returning from another town and headed back to our rental, when he drove by the, what we called, "The Yellow House" and he parked at the end of the lane and prayed that we could actually buy this house.

Our longing, the waiting, our inability to do anything about it...we were homesick for the country. We were tired of using someone else's furnishings, as ours was in storage. We didn't feel settled, things were hanging in a temporary balance. We lived day by day, and the months were slipping by... We found out the house has a buyer and is scheduled for closing.

We waited, we prayed, we dreamed, hoped, and longed for our own home... A family member had offered to buy us a house to eventually rent to own, a house of our choice. We had told them of this house than found out it was not available.

Late late summer, after almost ready to settle on another country home, we got a call from our realtor that the yellow house is available as it fell thro with the other people..he said the bank was tired of it always falling thro and are ready to pull it off the market again. There were others ahead of us, we were told, but our realtor begged that we be given the opportunity to buy it as he stated that he is sure he has a buyer. We are down to about a month left in our rental and we were told foreclosed homes can take at least 6 months to buy....

                                        

But....not with God it doesn't... ;) About 1 month later, the end of October, we moved into our lovely and what we called and still do, "Our Yellow House". ( We don't live there anymore though as we moved to where the sweetest little Church is nestled near the Rockies.) :) 

                                              

But the longing, the wait...we would sit around our rental apartment living room and turn all the lights out at night and dream out loud together with our little family, what all the inside of the house must look like... We drew pictures of the rooms as we dreamed they might be.... We were filled with the desperate longing to have that house..it's where we wanted to be, in the country, down the road from our little house on the prairie...

M and M's longings are more than all that....do they dream what being a part of a family must mean, what it looks like?? Are they filled with so desperate a longing that it hurts...? Do they pray, beg and pray some more to our Heavenly Father that He would do what they never could??

Yes, yes, I am sure they do!! And it is something we cannot ignore.. We've had to remind ourselves, when others haven't understood our adoption, that it is us that are being called, not them. God has taught us to extend grace and understanding when others don't see it this way. It is our responsibility. We don't feel capable and equipped of ourselves, but we rest in His heart and His ability to carry His own heart's desire out.

We still have a road ahead in our adoption of M and M and would love and be honored to have your prayer support.

If you care to support this adoption financially, there is a donate button on the top right of this page. 

We thank you and bless you In advance!! 

Also our picture puzzle fundraiser is still going. It is $10 to sponsor a puzzle piece(s) where we will write your name on the back of the piece and when the puzzle is complete, we will frame it in a double-sided frame assuring M and M of the many people's love and support that brought them home!!!