Monday, September 21, 2015

The True Story of My Inheritance~Sharing the Details Openly

As I sit here in our family room, facing the mountains, the wind is strong and gusty...I love the sound of it through the open windows. It draws my whole self toward the coziness of our house, of home, of belonging. It carries with it a comfortingness. Little Joshua somehow thought that 4:30ish was this mornings wake time. :) So when I decided to get up, turn on the coffee pot to reheat some coffee, I gathered my precious little bundle close and we made our way to our family room and snuggled in our overstuffed chair facing the mountains and the twinkling lights. And to the still dark outdoors, to the sound of wind, while wrapped in his fuzzy blanket in his mama's love and arms, little guy slipped back to his sweet baby dreams. 
He's sound asleep now in his darling cradle, not a hand me down (although I love the things that grow more precious when they've been passed along from one little love to another down through the years, but this little cradle was purchased especially for this sweet gift that God entrusted us with.)

I absolutely love the pursuit of God. I love that He doesn't just figure that I've went about as far as I'm gonna go with Him. If He didn't keep pursuing me, then yep, I probably would have found that suitable enough resting spot, and I most likely would have placed my soldier's sword against a nearby tree, nestled down and well, I don't know what else...

But God, has over and over and over again, pressed me on, just a little more and then a little bit more~that's the story of my life right there. My life has experienced many seasons...some where I balked the little bit more, others where my feet barely hit the ground and I loved the intentional pressing on and in to my Jesus! 
I have this one journal that I pick it up and jot in every couple years.. Then I have my journals that I keep filling up. Well the first journal mentioned was started during the season of the greatest calling out time of my life.. As the years go by, I go back and read through it. It's like watching my life on a time-lapse video. There are deep moments of seeking, of finding. Moments of courage, of fear, of joy cupped with sorrow, of bravery and defeat, of tears, and more tears. I see myself mud-streaked and battle worn.  Those precious, oh those precious moments where I stood with tilted face, battle clothes tattered, and in victory let the falling rain clean me. I tasted the raindrops as they washed down over me. I was refreshed, reinvigorated. I was more in love with my Kingly Captain Papa than ever before.

Each minute of every year has somehow left it's mark on stripes and bars. I have gazed into the face of the One I have loved the most and I have had to choose really who's side I was on..I could not be effective in the duty required of me if my heart was not solidly a part of it.
In life as God has continued to grow me, I saw Christians who at one time were passionate, lose their fire. They were bone weary and discouraged. And I saw hurting souls in the Church. My dad, having the army experience that he did, would often say that the Church is the only ones who would leave their hurting behind in a battle. How true that was. 

The people that defined the Church, for most of my life, were the hurting but never healing, the stumbling and never living above sin, the self-righteous (who evidently weren't living above sin either!), The lukewarm which God has promised to spew out of His mouth someday, the ignorant, the deaf and the blind, and the small piece of the sincere...
That piece has been attacked more than sin was attacked. The sincere of the Church were known as the problem ones because they refused to settle with the mess all around them. They refused to "cooperate" and just go with the lousey flow of things. They have allowed Christ to press, to melt them down, to press, to melt down and to make pure. And with every pressing and melting down, their faith and determination to be all in for Christ has set them apart. They were forced to acknowledge what they didn't want to acknowledge, but Truth required it.

Wow, by now, some of you may be shaking your head and saying, "Yep, that's why I walked away from it all. That's why I don't even believe in God anymore..."

But today I taste Heaven and I savor the delicious and the nutritiousness of it. And when Heaven comes down to earth and wraps itself around you, I can barely describe it. I am still graciously clothed in humanity. I still feel pain and sadness sometimes. I still am prone to get hurt etc. and have to take those feelings and lay them at the precious feet of my Jesus and leave them there. But this place I find myself in, I don't care that the world doesn't understand me. I mean I kind of wish they would, because they have this mindset that I am living in some kind of religious bondage, when in reality everyday I taste joy, every day I know I would never give this up. 

I have absolutely zero desire to exchange my life for another's. I am an adult, I'm not forced to live for Christ, I could cash in and seek what some call pleasures. The Bible even says sin is pleasureable, but only for awhile..

I don't live for Christ out of fear of hell anymore.

I don't live for Christ to get in some self-righteous league anymore~Yep done that! 

I don't live for Christ so as to not dishonor or hurt my parents who brought me up to love God. Neither of my parents are even here anymore.

I don't live for Christ so I can see my parents and my brother in Heaven.

Now you're really wondering why I live for Christ, huh? ;) I mean, when I was a little girl going to Church, I thought it was so boring and I could not figure out why any adult would go since they didn't have to. 

I live for Jesus every single day because I truly love Him as no other. He's given me my sweetheart guy for my earthly love and to share and do life with. I love that!! 
He's given me six beautiful kids who I delight in mothering!! 
But He, a long long time ago, gave me His love by giving His own life in a cruel death. My face passed before Him as He hung there. His eyes shimmered with love. He was the very essence of nobility and honor. He was strength and courage. He was despised and rejected, yet He stood firm. He was a worm and no man, yet He conquered. He rose just as He said He would do admidst all Satan's attempts to foul it all up. He rose victoriously~just as He promised!!

  The grave couldn't hold Him, Satan could not defeat Him.

He is faithfulness..He spoke it, lived it, walked it, died embracing it, and rose in it!!

So now what? Satan can't mess with Him, so he's messing with you. 

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Jesus has ever promised is true. And when He says we can have abundant life in Him, we can. I taste it a lot. And God keeps pressing me, keeps on daily pressing me. He stretches His arm out and points to victorious 24/7 rejoicing joy-filled mommyhood and says that it can be mine. And you know what? I believe Him! There may be a whole lot more melting down and pressing in ahead for me, but I truly trust my Jesus. I trust Him more than anyone. The joy that
clothes me, the joy that makes me whoop and leap, and causes my children's laughter to fall as rain (precious!) is for real and it is all because of Jesus!! 

It doesn't matter what satan tried to do in my life through pain or hardship that he hoped would ruin me, I don't have to remember it anymore. Because Jesus came and gave me the choice to let my old Miriam die, so He could give me a new Miriam. 

And that's why it's hard to explain to someone, because death truly brings life. And when you look back, the dying really was nothing compared to the every day joy-filled, laughter flowing, living!!!! And I definitely have been the abundant receiver as I handed my death clothes in to Jesus (and all that stuff that I thought I really needed for happiness. It can be compared at eating McDonald's food. It seems to fill, but never sticks with you long! Btw, I don't eat there anymore!)

Jesus, adopted me as His royal daughter and has supplied me with an armoire of the most beautiful clothes and all the accessories of a princess!! It's just learning how to embrace them as a real princess. Kind of like a story of a baby princess or prince kidnapped at birth and after they were restored to their Royal Family they had to be taught how to actually live in all this Royalty. How to graciously exercise in confidence in their new position. It was all there, but unless they were guided through it, it would remain foreign to them. 

I have everything in Christ and He is faithfully and patiently walking with me in joyfilled discovery of how to exercise it, to walk confidently in it!!

I have, with the grace of a true princess, and in honor of my created royal bloodline, received my inheritance in Christ!! 

It's yours too. Satan robbed you from all this. Don't let him mess with you any longer, lie to you any longer. Jesus is Your REAL Father and He's holding out His Kingly arms to embrace you.
He's eager to show your His storehouse. He's longing to share life with you!