As I sat on my back porch this morning praying and thinking back over my life and just thanking God for His faithfulness and protection. I realized that when someone is lost on a path, how easy it is to accept the wrong hand reaching down to help. And how that could lead down a misguided path. For women, our longing to be loved and cherished very easily makes us prey to our adversary, the devil, IF Jesus is not at the forefront of every decision we make. He needs to be at the core of everything. This applies whether single or married. The grass can look greener on either side of the fence we're on. As my husband and I faced storms in our marriage we found ourselves unequipped to conquer them. Both of us had been raised in "Christian" homes. Yet, we lacked the training we really needed.
I first encourage every single woman reading this, to invest your energy and everything you are, first in the Lord Jesus Christ before you begin an earthly relationship with a guy. If Jesus is not the very focal point (the concentration of your heart , your life sharply defined by Him), pursue that. Pursue Him as the Lover of your soul. He longs for us to have such rich, deep, fellowship in Him that can't possibly be found in any human. God is eternal. His truth feeds our soul. He offers living water! As much as I love my Mike and he's a really sweet guy who serves the Lord and loves me unselfishly, but he couldn't possibly meet the inner longings of my soul for my Saviour. He blesses me in that longing, he helps me mature spiritually, he's one of my greatest inspirations and all of that and more, is so wonderful, but it really needs to begin with our pursuit of Christ first.
As a young gal, I was driven by a longing to know Christ more and believe me, dating before my life was completely defined in Christ, caused a great distraction and later I found myself married and very easy prey to the enemy as he warred for my soul and the destruction of my marriage. For years everyone thought our marriage was great and we occasionally found others asking for our secret to our wonderful marriage. And we were hurting...and angry, and didn't know where to turn. But there was Someone who saw our tears when no one else did... Had we pursued HIM we wouldn't have been in the mess we were in!
A friend gave me the book, "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin. And God used that book to minister and change my life!!! When I started the book, I read it with a very selfish heart. My heart was intent on changing Mike! But something was happening.... First I was selfish. Then angry. Then, as the scales began to fall off my eyes, I literally felt compassion (or perhaps that's what a mature Christian would have called it.) in the state I was in, I felt sorry for my Mike. And as I saw distinctively my imperfections, I was actually now glad my Mike wasn't perfect. Before, his imperfections ate at me so bad that they were all I could see every time I gazed at him. Mike and I slowly began to change....looking back, I would describe that season of our life as, fragile and beautiful and so lovely. But yes, oh so fragile...we were taking baby steps forward....
I will never forget, holding my breath one night at our dinner table, as I listened to this man excitedly telling me something he heard on the radio that day. He left the table to walk across the room to get his Bible to find the passage he heard...I sat with abated breath...I didn't want to ruin this hallmark moment...I had such a longing for Mike to truly lead our home and now he was...It's hard to believe we're the same people, but it's a testimony of what God can really do in some one's life. Mike says that "By remembering where he came from is what keeps him focused on what God's did and doing". It's always a reminder to us of God's greatness.
Mike looks to our heavenly Father for the directions in how to lead our home. And God has also brought men of spiritual honor and strength up along side Mike to encourage and challenge him to greater depths. Oh, God is so good!!!!!!
Like most girls, growing up, I looked forward to falling in love and living happily ever after... And when our marriage started healing one of the things that was hard for me to accept was the reality that my dream did not unfold without any problems. I wanted to have always looked upon my earthly knight in shining Armour, as flawless. And I for sure wanted the world around me to think so too. So, it was a choice we had to make whether to let people think we've always had a beautiful marriage OR to testify what God did in our marriage so others can be helped also. I was sad about the fact we were just another percent of a bad marriage turned around. I wanted the fairy tale marriage story to be ours...What we experience is real and we relish the beauty of what we share...Anyone that knows me personally, knows how I love speaking of Jesus, my Mike and my little family. I live everyday in thankfulness of these blessings. After we came through this season of our life, I was saddened by the fact of the precious years we lost, but as each year has slipped by ,we are tasting first hand how God miraculously restores. With every pressing in closer to God, our love for each other deepens at greater depth. I look forward to living happily ever after with my earthy prince, and I will speak from the beauty of a rescued soul. Thank You, Jesus!!
|My best friend and sweetheart husband!|